top 5

i've been to a few extraordinary weddings. this one definitely sits right up there with the lot of them. erik and lauren are officially the zillens now.

it was an awesome ceremony, but even more so, an awesome weekend all around. we spent a lot of time up at hidden hollow this weekend with the family and friends of both lauren and erik, got to know some new people, make some new friends, and celebrate.

it was the perfect mix of things. a lot of work, a lot of fun, a little crying here and there, a lot of laughter, not enough sleep, plenty of wine, a little craziness now and then, lots of beautiful conversation, good food, wonderful company, all which culminated in a marriage. this was, as i said before, an extraordinary wedding weekend.

from a to z

the arnold-zilen wedding weekend officially kicked off last night. bachelorette happenings last night were both fun and meaningful. love that girl, lauren! that's her on the left in the picture with char and i. lots of good talks and laughter all around, not to mention the good vino...

finally, some pics

so our celebration weekend has come and gone. it has not been without it's intensely stressful moments. but all in all, it was a fantastic time. we had many people come from out of town plus our awesome chattanooga crew to celebrate our 6 month old marriage with us. tons of people jumped in and helped make the whole thing happen. i think at around 4pm on sunday i kept repeating to myself, "i'm insane, i'm insane. where do i get these ideas? i must be crazy!" but it all came together beautifully! it was everything ben and i hoped it would be.

this image, however, is actually from the wedding ceremony itself which happened back in january. i have finally uploaded a few images from that onto flickr. hope you enjoy...

upguppy paused

quick note: ben informed me two days ago that upguppy has slapped a general password onto their website. which means it cannot be accessed. by anyone. they are still in the development phase and are not ready to release it or have the general public using its functions. i guess its kind of like building a house. you don't move in when just the frame is up. you have to wait until atleast the walls and roof have been put on as well. although some of our friends might dispute that (ahem, monty).

that all being said, i just wanted to let you peeps know in case you click on the upguppy links that i posted AWHILE ago.

script

the summer went really well at camp glad. i have been challenged greatly in certain areas, such as perseverance and objectivity when faced with conflict. i have felt a great deal of grace from the Lord many, many times.

getting up extremely early in the morning is not one of my strong points. me and 5:30am don't get along so well. ben was so encouraging, getting up with me and making me coffee while i was in the shower. i'd drop him off at work and then head out for the church.

it was a struggle to put a smile on my face as the kids started to roll in the door, but i realized very quickly that it was up to ME to set the tone for the morning in the kitchen. so i'd bury my face in my coffee cup and then come up for air with hopefully a greeting that was loving and welcoming. there was 'great success' often, but not always. something that gurney said very early on about not just teaching the kids but also learning from them was frequently in the forefront of my thoughts.

i was challenged in this every day. to be the "adult" voice in conflict gave me cause to reflect upon myself in many ways. i am generally, and especially in this camp glad environment, prone to think i am always right. it is often difficult for me to see that i might actually be wrong, and even more than that, that is not about being right or wrong. it is about the relationship, the communication, the love and grace that the Lord has shown us that i must give as well as receive in relating with the kids. it is an intangible doing that only makes sense in the actuation, the letting go of my own pride and sense of justice and instead asking for and allowing reconciliation and love to be the only thing i want. and there is no recipe for that. it is simply a doing.

as i am thinking about this, it has struck me that it makes so much sense why when God's Word became flesh, it was not as a thing, but rather a person, Jesus Christ. it would be so much easier for me to grasp in my brain a list of rules, but an impossibility to fulfill. truth only really happens in relationship with another person. the Lord has chosen to have his justice make sense in a person who has in turn chosen to reveal himself in truth to us through relationship with us. and it makes really good sense.

relating to another person well... i'm not even sure what that means only that it is kind of addicting now that i've gotten a taste of it.

all this working with kids? well, it is just hand in hand with all the other life stuff that the Lord has given me, such as learning to know and love my husband better, my family, my various relationships. it's all the same thing. the varying degrees of how much energy put where and into which relationship is an important thing to be aware of, but it doesn't make the doing in those relationships any different.

"upguppy" or "i spent the first 3 months of my marriage watching my husband create this pretty cool website which you should check out"

here it is, the website that ben's been working on for what seems like forever. mind you, this is just the alpha draft. they are not quite ready to move forward into the beta. i think that it still turned out pretty cool.

it's a top-10 ranking site allowing anyone to rank anything and everything they can think of, from their top-10 movies, to top-10 hotels they've stayed at, or even more serious topics like top-10 pressing issues of our time. if you check it out, please note that it is still in testing phase (evidenced by one of the first rankings you see "coolest coptix employees").

blogging hiadus

the blog has taken the back seat for the past little while. transition has been relatively smooth, but i have yet to set back up in front of my computer. i'm tentatively rethinking the purpose of this little guy, mostly because it originally was intended for updates on life after i moved up north. moving back south has thrown me for a bit of a loop. so a new title and a new purpose might be in the works.

oh, and my digital camera needs to be retired, so pictures might be a while in coming.

white men can dance

i've watched this so many times, because, well, it is really, really funny. and in light of all the recent "rove-scapades" from ron and josiah q., i thought i would post it. enjoy.

Daily Show - MC Rove

visitors, updates, ramblings...

paul and capria jaussen were in the city this last weekend visiting the rotten apple for the first time. ben and i got to hang out with them sunday evening. it was, of course, excellent. i had not seen either of them since they moved to seattle 2 years ago. not much has changed except for capria's hair length (lucky girl can pull off anything!)

and on to other news...

ben and i after much deliberation and consideration have decided that when our lease runs out (may 8) we will be leaving shelter island and moving back to chattanooga for a time. there are many reasons for this move, which i will not get into here. we made this decision a couple of weeks ago, but have not had the opportunity to share the news with everyone yet.

in lieu of this, we have both been caused to reflect on where we are now and what this means for us. the future plans we both had before we got married now seem farther away. yet there is an energy that seems to drive us both together and forward, though we know not to where we are going. is that faith? is that the Lord leading us? it is something we are both in prayer about. what this means for both our former plans for school we have no idea. neither ben nor i have given up on our dreams and goals. but they seem to be transforming into something else.

the words "relationships, friendships, community" are all becoming part of our dialogue more and more. and questions come after. what does the relationship between ben and i mean for the relationships with the rest of our community? and where does our community lie? we are in the process of learning about these things in our context of marriage. and this is beautiful. to share and be shared with. to know and be known. to love and be loved. and when we recognize this, we both look outward for those who are in our community, desiring to be with you again, to give to you these things that we are learning and growing in together.

this time here on shelter island has been a fruitful one. a place of healing, growth, solitude, learning, rejuvenation, and heck, an extended honeymoon...

snow!

i was starting to wonder if we'd ever actually get snow up here. i mean, when i think of an island, i think palm trees, white sand beaches, mangos, coconuts (kiko, you with me?) so, it got cold, but that's been about it until now.

we got our first snow fall. i'm experiencing it with a mixture of feelings. it's beautiful and adds visual texture to the already cold environment. that's great. but for a girl from california, i've finally realized the need for snow shoes. my feet have been perpetually cold and wet for the past week. (i'm such a baby...)

i've never lived in a place that truly represented the 4 seasons. california is almost seasonless, and chattanooga gets A snowfall maybe every 4 years. how fun to finally see a white winter AND to enjoy it with dreamy weaver.

'footprints' are from right outside our front door. 'flowers' are the hydrangeas from the back patio that were so beautiful and lavender in colour when i originally moved to shelter island. i guess they don't do so well in the icy conditions. ah, they'll be back...

nuptials

for some reason, i can't seem to upload a larger image here. but this is a shot from the bweavers wedding ceremony. thanks to em franks for taking some pictures. we're hoping to have some more images to put up on flickr as soon as we collect the lot of them from my mom and brian durham.

ta da!

the expected "where was i a year ago?" post

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! (two days late)

after a month long hiatus from blogging, i'm back on again. of course, it being a new year, i start to think back, like i always do, over the past year. where was i last year this time? so much has changed, so many blessings, so many surprises.

story 1: after spending christmas with my brother i sent him off to join the military. he has since refound the love of his life, was married to her in august, and as of a week ago they are living in clarksville, tennessee, he being stationed with the 101st airborne at fort campbell, kentucky. that has been a wild yet wonderful ride for them.

story 2: my almost common law roommate, kiko, last year this time was also just getting to know the man who would then propose to her in april to be married this past august.

story 3: lisa riley... well, just copy story 2, but replace "kiko" with "lisa," "the man" with "trippy farmer," and "august" with "september."

story 4: charity and lang are officially empty nesters and finally became scooter owners (after years and years of talking about it)

story 5: andy, brent and morris became roommates (oh wait, they too are almost common law. silly me)

story 6: the galpins continue trucking along in st. louis. can you believe it's been a year and a half?

story 7: kristine zacharias became a home owner.

story 8: ben and anna are having babies!!

story 9: farron finally got a job that she loves.

story 10: chris totten moved COMPLETELY across the country to live and pursue music with his brothers.

story 11: isaac's music career is continuing to grow.

story 12: josiah roe and i officially became friends.

story 13: sean loftin and michelle higgins were engaged at the beginning of december (just snuck in there, didn't they?).

story 14: me? well, enough said. way too much this year, but so many wonderful outcomes. the Lord infintely has blessed ben and i in the healing and rejuvenation of our relationship. he has brought us both through so much and then back together again. it is a testimony to his faithfulness. in addition to that, my relationships have continued to blossom and grow with all my friends and family. it's been a good year.

for your viewing pleasure a very unique photo of ben and i from christmas day. we've never taken one like this before nor have i shown or posted a picture quite like this of me with anyone. simply put, this is a photo in an entirely new fashion.

the woman behind the man

and we all thought it was LANG who was the computer genius. little did we know he gets all his chops from his lovely wife charity...

jk

the story really goes like this: i had a lovely week last week, first seeing friends in chattanooga and then visiting with ben weaver's family in kentucky on thanksgiving day. it was a typical thanksgiving. lots of food, family, dogs and mayhem running around. ben's family was incredibly welcoming and very easy to get to know. it was a fast week, and ended with me back in the northeast on friday, sad but true.

the martin's, who were in nyc for thanksgiving themselves, then graced me with their presence on sunday. we had dinner at vine street that night, lots of good food and conversation, and then woke up the next day to patter around in our pj's until i dropped them off at the hampton jitney stop where they caught a bus back up to the city to fly back to chattanooga.

i was giggling when i took this picture: two martin's in my house, each with a white mac in their laps, sitting in my giant overstuffed chairs. how perfect.

it was so great, though, that they came down to see me. i just love them both so much. i miss everyone in chattanooga a lot, actually. thanks so much to everyone who came to dinner at char and lang's last tuesday. i really meant a lot to see you all, even if just for a brief moment.

dusk

i went back out to montauk this afternoon (this time, sadly, without ben weaver) in time to watch the fishing boats come in. to my surprise it was just about dark already.

just to give you an idea of how very east i am, this picture was shot at 4:30 this afternoon. by 5:00 it was close to pitch dark. it really gave a piercing sense of finality to the day.

i think it was lang who quoted chris mccartney to me once as saying, "darkness, in contrast to lightness, is in a sense a more true reflection of who God is because there are many variations of light. but darkness in itself is complete." there is a whole conversation in there somewhere. regardless, i do find myself in some ways overcome with reflection when i am in the dark. nothing else to see, nothing to be distracted by, just me and the Lord.

birthday's are never overrated

i had a fantastic birthday weekend. ben weaver came to see me and we got to do all kinds of fun things. walks on the beach (yes, there are beaches here, lots of them in fact), a delicious 8-course dinner, lots of quality conversation. it all added up to a lovely time. i got to talk to all my best friends as well. (kari wanted to make sure everyone knew SHE was the first one to call me on friday.)

i took the beach picture on our beach "hike," and the other is from our dinner at della famina friday night. i'll be in chattanooga next week for a couple of days before thanksgiving. anyone up for group dinner tuesday night? some good ol' bethany cooking?

music interest of the day

jimmy lavalle, the main man behind the music of the album leaf just released a new cd, into the blue again. after starting his solo project in 1998, he has continued to release lp's and ep's every year, all taking on unique yet simple layered techno music. (think postal service.) and then every once in a while he throws in a surprising track of strings. he has impressed such groups as sigur ros to be invited to join them onstage during live performance. they have also assisted him in the making of some of his own music. there is an interesting mention of him on funtimeok.com but get the dirt from the actual website.

i'm unfortunately missing both of his new york shows (tonight and monday), but those of you in california should try to catch him in san francisco on the 21st of november at the independent. here is a track from his new album. it's called writings on the wall.

catch up

my weekend was a good one. it started off with a last minute visit from ben weaver and ended with some good ol' subway hopping', crowd surfing fun with my mother. do you see my face? yes, that's happiness.

my mother got to see where i live and dine at my restaurant. we also went to a very special place i like to call the "lavender house" for hot soup and hot chocolate. it is a restaurant in a house the color of lavender that also grows and sells lavender plants and products.

we went into new york city tuesday and randomnly ran into anna thomas walking down the street. apparently even in the biggest city in the united states you can run into people. on our way to meet up with ben thomas we got stuck in the annual 6th avenue halloween parade. i felt kind of bad, mom getting suffocated by 2 million new yorkers plus not being in costume and all. but mom survived the crowds. what a good sport she is. and yesterday was her birthday, so happy birthday, momma!

CxMen

i may be a sucker. but mostly i'm just continually proud of the cxTeam. they rolled out their new website this past week. despite being a completely computer-unsavvy person, i also know what i dislike about websites. and this one passed my first test: no need to scroll down on the home page! still in the tweaking process apparently, but shoestrings and duct-tape aside, it looks and feels pretty snazzy having just enough interactiveness to be fun yet not so much to be intimidating. it's simple to look at and a good example of their collective talent. as far as chattanooga web development and graphic design goes, these cxBoysandGirls are hot to trot.

one of my favorite parts of the website is the portfolio page. i've had debates with some about the drawers that slide down featuring thumbnails and links for their already developed sites. my only critique: maybe hotlink the actual images in addition to the url text(?). but the drawers are pretty sweet, giving the user a taste of the goods without having to commit to being taken to the actual websites. (i sort of hate pressing the back button every three seconds.)

with the return of beardtopia, it should be perfect. (and man, that ben weaver... what a hottie.)

my secret love of electronic music is out. seventeen years by ratatat (thanks, sarah hughes).

lost in the garden state (or, never take the new jersey turnpike for fear of going bankrupt)

i drove to see my brother and sister-in-law last week in virginia. the most direct route, albeit the most expensive due to excessive toll roads, is the i-95, aka "new jersey turnpike," straight through new jersey. so i weigh my options: $50 in tolls versus a longer yet more beautiful, peaceful and cheaper drive through pennsylvania... i'm a scrooge, pennsylvania wins. and i'm off down the road, feeling pretty smart in my dirty little bob the saab.

there's one little life lesson i seem to keep on learning over and over again, namely that when i try to avoid anything that thing usually is thrown straight into my path. this is also the reason why i am a terrible liar. and true to form, in trying to avoid new jersey, i somehow ended up lost in new jersey. have you ever been lost in new jersey? i keep asking people that to which most reply, "how do you get lost in new jersey? all it is is one big turnpike." one big expensive turnpike, that is. i sort of think this is how they fund the entire state's economy. so i then decide to try and get out of new jersey as soon as possible. and my next "shortcut" turns into another one of bethany's brainy schemes into confusion.

rainy, foggy, way too much traffic. i think the northeast hates me, or atleast is having fun testing my determination. probably both. my eight hour jaunt turned into a nine, ten, eleven, twelve-thousand year long excursion, through hill an dale, valley and forge. i think i saw the netherlands at one point.

i'm still not really sure where i was or how i got there, only that eventually some kind person in a toll booth told me how to get to virginia. that was after he told me he thought all people from pennsylvania were idiots. i asked him what he thought about people from tennessee. "are you from tennessee, sweetie?" "yes sir..." "i love people from tennessee!" i laughed and drove on.

just shy of lisa loeb, yet with an almost velvet undergroundish flair... mirah's sweepstake prize